Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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