Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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