her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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