she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
