I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
