PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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