brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
