if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
