Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
