Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize