I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
