I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
