she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fuck appropriateness.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
