just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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