Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize