if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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