Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
50% drunk capacity currently
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
