What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
