I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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