I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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