Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
