Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
