the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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