Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
sex in a hospital.. check
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
