pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Are we still banned from the library?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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