she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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