He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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