the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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