I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
