brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
