what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
