So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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