The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize