happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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