He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
