Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
