her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
