so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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