so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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