Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
