I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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