I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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