oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
