i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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