Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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