I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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