i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
