that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
