he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
