I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ugly people sure do ruin things
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
