i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
