I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
