There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
