i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
