I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
