At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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