i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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