Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
