so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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