Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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