Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
