no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
