absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
